Sunday, September 22, 2013

Childbirth + Aftermath = This Sucks

If you are a new mommy or about to be a mommy again... There is tons of advice out there. New moms seem to still go into the hospital without any idea of how it's gonna be...

Well I'm here to tell ya... If your squeamish or get disgusted easily... Ignore this post. 

Childbirth... It's amazing!! The fact that your body can produce another little human and even feed it is AMAZING!! Talk about feeling super proud of yourself!! 

Then come the hormones (Gee can't a woman get a break?) and your a freaking bawling basket case while trying to take care of a newborn (plus or minus other children). I know as a first time mom three years ago... I had an idea of what was coming but then reality set in. People can tell you... Time and again... But in no way is it going to prepare you for your new life.  The not knowing... the second guessing... The guilt... It goes on and on. The hormones don't help this either.

Reading over my sons baby book today I could tell my naive ways when he was a newborn... Not that I am in anyway a seasoned veteran now. It amazes me how much we change and how much we grow and mature in such a limited time (or some of us do). 

For instance when my son was born, after a few days when the new wore off and reality set in, when it would get dark I would cry... And get anxious because I knew that time was coming that I wouldn't get the sleep I so needed.  I actually had anxiety when it got dark... crazy right? Apparently I am not the only one.  I have had friends express this same anxiety/feeling when darkness set in.  Sad right? But it happens... I am sure that hormones played a part in this as well. Regardless, it did pass as all things do and things got better to where I did not dread the darkness and nighttime anymore.

But I feel that new mommies should know about these I was not prepared, and had I been prepared I would have been better equipped for it (at least I think).

With my second baby the darkness fear did not seem as bad, I didn't cry every time the sun went down, but the first night I had anxiety because of having my little bitty newborn and my three year old to take care of. I did get over that pretty quickly when I had to wake up my little newborn to eat. Aaaawww the life.

Here are some things that you should be prepared for (beware these are gruesome and gross):

  1) After birth contractions during breastfeeding -- yes you will feel like you are still having contractions after having your baby while you breast feed.  That's the good thing about breast feeding, it will help your uterus go back to normal quickly... but the bad part is it will hurt.  I made sure to take my Ibuprofen as much as I could so that it would help with the contractions.  After a week or so it decreases but sometimes still hurts.

  2) Post baby body -- when you leave the hospital you will feel so skinny... because you don't have a big baby in your belly.  Alas, when you try to put on your pre-baby clothes you will not fit them.  It will take awhile for you to be able to fit back into your clothes. If your anything like me... it will take FOREVER!!!  Some skinny girls can fit back into their clothes in no time... but let's be honest. How many of us are skinny girls? HA!

  3)  Bleeding -- will go away and come back for six weeks or more... seriously it's horrible.  But you must know these things... that way your not surprised.  So be prepared by having the proper supplies on hand. Also another thing that will be helpful while you are recovering... I don't know about most people but I worried about bleeding all over my nice pretty mattress while I was passed out asleep (the little time I do get to pass out) so I used my three year old's GoodNites Disposable Bed Mats so that way if I did have an 'accident' it wouldn't ruin my mattress.  I love products that serve double duty!!

  4)  Hormone changes -- you are going to feel like a crazy person.  Reading the story "Love You Forever" to my three year old makes me tear up... (seriously WTF?) Hormones people... hormones. They are freaking crazy!!!  Just prepare yourself that you will feel like a crazy person for a while (if not until they grow up).


  5)  Breast Feeding vs Formula Feeding - you will feel guilty regardless of which one you decide is best for you, your baby, and your family.... and people will make you feel guilty... people everywhere.  My decision to breast vs bottle feed is my choice (you must keep telling yourself this), because people will make you feel like you are the worst mother on this planet (not like you don't already give yourself enough guilt) but as long as your child is thriving, gaining weight, making plenty of wet/poopy diapers... then just breathe.... your baby will be fine if you do not feed her/him exclusive breast milk (boob), when that child grows up he/she is not going to look at you and say "GOD mom why didn't you feed me breast milk?? Seriously!!"  Your child is going to be fine as long as you love them, feed them, comfort them, take care of their needs, and do your best. Because doing your best is all you can do. Ignore the critics and just smile and shake your head at them and keep telling yourself this... "I have to do what's best for me and MY family." that's all that matters.

 Parenting is fun... and hard. Just prepare yourself for that. Your life is now changed FOREVER, it will never be the same. 

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